So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
