i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
