Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
