areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
This toilet bowl is my home.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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