38 yer olds are good kisserssss
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize