After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Every concussion has its silver lining
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
