i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
