Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize