I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
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