doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
