quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
