Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Come on in and take your pants off
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