You don't have asthma, your pregnant
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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