Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
