She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
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