i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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