OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
