I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
