Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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