Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
