I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
