she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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