We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
3 2 1 whiskey
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
