you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
i out mim tonsoeep
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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