Need sex. Gaining weight.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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