why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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