You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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