Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
