I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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