Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize