Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
