Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
