please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
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