I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Randomize
