nut hugger
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
