In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
