ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Drunk is a universal language darling
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
