Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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