so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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