Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
