do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
