What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize