Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
did you just send me my own nude
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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