i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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