I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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