ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
