you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
