what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
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