Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
