Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
