i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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