Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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