I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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