my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
