mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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