why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
i out mim tonsoeep
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