This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Randomize
