I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
