so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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