i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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