Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
